Holy bloating, Batman!! I'm doubly regretting yesterday's Chinese.
I did Plyo X today (387 calories), testing footwear options for Insanity. Today's test was on the interlocking mats, with socks, no shoes. The mats worked great!! The only problem is, the set I have is missing 2 squares, so I don't have a full 9-square area to work in. Oh, and on some jumps, they slip a bit. So I'm going to buy another set and combine them. This will give me more room and fit the entire space so that there is no room for slippage. I'm very relieved. I was not looking forward to going out and buying another pair of expensive shoes right now, with my trip less than a week away. Maybe at some point after I get back and have really tested out Insanity on the mat, I may need them but I don't want buying them to cut into my budget for going home for Easter.
cereal w/ yogurt & apple
candy bars; Yes, plural. Yes, again. I am beginning to think I am using my "binge eating" as an excuse. I don't have massive binges any more. I do make poor choices and tend to overeat. But certainly not classic binge eating. However, I do rationalize it - "Oh, I can't help it, I'm a binge eater." Bull. Shit. I am impulsive when it comes to bad food. I can help it. I choose not to. But more on this in a few days. I have to stew on this idea for a while, and reading Tony Horton's Tough Love chat transcript.
salad w/ light ranch dressing & crumb-coated chicken thighs
Four cups of coffee and 80 ounces of water
10 comments:
Becky,
Why do you have candy bars in your house? Seriously, why? Why? Why? Who in your household needs candy bars so bad that they need to be within a moments reach. Alcoholics don't keep beer in their house. Drug addicts don't keep cocaine at the ready. Get rid of the candy bars, get rid of the M&Ms. You don't need it and you don't want it. There is NO GOOD REASON to have it anywhere near you.
I don't keep them in my house. I go out of my damn way to buy them!
The M&Ms are not a threat. When I bought them, I told myself I couldn't eat them without a plan. Same as with the last bag of M&Ms I bought and stored for a year. I never touched them until I had a plan. I'm not worried about the M&Ms. If I want M&Ms, I will go buy a small bag. I won't open the big ones. I know I won't. It's not the food IN my house that gets me.
you need to have a plan for the candy bars then. Don't drive by the place you stop for them. Go waaay out of your way if you have to.
Obviously. Sorry I'm not perfect about it. Do you think I enjoy this lack of control? I know all of this. I know the strategies for avoiding cravings and all that jazz, but it's a lot fucking harder to apply. I haven't mastered the lifestyle the way others have. I know that. I'm reminded every time I eat something that's not good for me.
Sorry. I'm trying to encourage. Not preach. I apologize. I'm far, far, FAAAAR from perfect and I certainly haven't mastered anything. I don't think I ever will. It's always going to be a struggle.
No, you're absolutely right, and I'm sorry I got frustrated. I'm really jealous of your ability to eat as well as you do.
Becky, there is nothing to be jealous of. Just because I don't post it, doesn't mean I do some of the same things. I will say that the more "on program" I am, the easier it is to avoid those things. But we went to Applebee's last night. I specifically picked Applebees because I knew I could get a WW meal and count the points. I ended up getting a cheeseburger and fries WITH an cookie ice cream sundae for dessert. FAIL! I'm making amends today. But I also specifically try to plan one meal a week were I get to something like pizza or something splurge-worthy and use my 35 for it so I don't go crazy.
You didn't turn your fail into a week long clusterfuck. I knew I was going out for a big lunch today - I've known for over a week, and I intended to save all my points for today. Then last Monday, I had to buy some chocolate for Sebastian's Easter party at school and without even thinking, I ate some of it. From then on, I had to have chocolate. Instead of making something WW friendly, I went to the store (after hours of thinking about it) and bought candy. I did that 3 times this week. It was a mess. It wasn't crap in the house - I went out to buy it. I had my meals planned for the week. I ignored them. I had a refrigerator full of healthy stuff. I pretended it wasn't there. And the chocolate didn't even taste good, it gave me heartburn, and it pissed me off. I am very glad this week is fucking over.
I've done some of the same things though. Repeatedly. I think what matters it that you learn from it. We actually talked about stuff like this in this week's meeting. I'll never be cured of this but I hope that everytime I fall down, I'm able to pick myself back up and dust myself off and keep truckin'. I think a positive outlook is imperative. I know that's easier said than done.
Read this: http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com/2010/03/confessions-from-and-recovery-from.html
And then this: http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com/2010/03/weekly-meeting-topic-more-feedback-not.html
And then this: http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com/2010/03/update-on-my-recovery-and-more-thoughts.html
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