Monday, June 25, 2018

Week 2

So I didn't plan shit all that well because I forgot I can't really lift after getting a tattoo. I got my chest piece fixed so I can't bench press or anything until it heals. I decided to start riding my stationary bike. The leg pain I have when walking makes itself known when I am on the bike, so I'm only going short distances for now, but try to go a little further each time.

I'm really struggling with food - mostly planning and prep. I'm not overeating but I am definitely having mental issues, mostly the fear of food. I'm not making poor choices. I'm just not eating enough, and my meals are not well balanced.

So, let me tell you about my workout. I really like it a lot. It's three full body workouts, different each day.

Workout 1 - Sunday
A1: squat - 5x5
A2: plank - 5x20 sec (increasing every few weeks by 10 sec)
B1: dumbbell bench press - 4x10
B2: lying dumbbell row - 4x10
C1: seated dumbbell overhead press - 4x10
C2: split stance lunge - 4x10
D1: dumbbell curl - 3x10
D2: standing dumbbell triceps extension - 3x10
D3: barbell calf raise - 3x10

Workout 2 - Tuesday
A1: barbell bench press - 5x5
A2: plank - 5x20 sec (increasing every few weeks by 10 sec)
B1: flat dumbbell fly - 4x10
B2: leg extension - 4x10
C1: hamstring curl - 4x10
C2: inverted row - 4x10
D1: seated lat raise - 3x10
D2: dumbbell hammer curl - 3x10
D3: triceps kickback - 3x10

Workout 3 - Friday
A1: Romanian deadlift - 5x5
A2: plank - 5x20 sec (increasing every few weeks by 10 sec)
B1: incline dumbbell bench press  - 4x10
B2: standing lat raise - 4x10
C1: straight arm dumbbell pullover - 4x10
C2: Bulgarian split squat - 4x10
D1: EZ bar curl - 3x10
D2: dumbbell skullcrusher - 3x10
D3: barbell shrug - 3x10

And at the end of each workout, I have a stability ball core workout, 3x20 reps for each:

  • crunch
  • Russian twist
  • rollout
  • jackknife
  • pike

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Week 1

Week 1 of...who fucking knows. My plan is to stick to this lifting program for 15 weeks, then decide what I want to do next. I would love, love, love to do The Bigness Project but it's hellacious. Like the workouts in Phase 2 are well over an hour long and five times a week. I don't know if I have time for that. Well, I do. I just don't know if I have the motivation for it. The three days a week I have now are perfect. My workouts are in the mornings of my days off, or on a day I go into work late. And I mostly have the place to myself so I can play my music while I workout, and there's no one here to say, "Oh, that looks hard as hell." Yes, fucker, it is hard, shut up and eat your pint of ice cream.

I put together three full-body workouts and now that the first week is behind me, I am pretty damn pleased with it. It's challenging, it gets my heart rate up, and I feel like I've worked hard when I'm done. I don't leave anything behind. I don't half-ass it. I love it. I'm not going to put it all here - you can find me on MyFitnessPal and view My Diary.

Food has been okay-ish. I've cut way back on the coffee creamer and use mostly unsweetened coconut milk. It's not great but it doesn't suck so I can deal with it. I may treat myself to creamer-only on Sundays, since I don't really drink a lot of coffee on Sundays.

I'm still struggling with the fear of food. That is never going away. I don't want to eat anything "bad" because it will trigger a binge. At the same time, I'm resentful that I can't eat whatever I want. Well, I could, but then I would continue to be a fat fuck. Ugh. My body likes to be a fat fuck.

Saturday, June 9, 2018

80 Day Obsession - Week 1 - Haha, just kidding

I am not going to bore anyone with daily posts. Mostly because I'm lazy about getting on the computer and it's too hard to blog from my phone or iPad.

Day 1: Total Body Core (Monday)

I'll be honest - I almost bailed on this. I got off work super late and was worried I wouldn't get to sleep on time. I was going to double up and do this and Tuesday's workout on Tuesday morning but my amazing Beachbody coach talked sense into me. So I did it. I didn't phone it in. I tried my best. I modified the shit out of it but I did it.

I struggled with food.  My decision to use just milk in my coffee instead of creamer was a terrible one. I didn't even drink it. I bought creamer on my way home from work. I was soooooo hungry without my coffee, I ate my lunch almost as soon as I got to work, and when it was time for lunch, I had to suck it up and dip into my stash of trail mix. I ate a decent dinner after my workout but I was still hungry because there was practically no protein in it. Thank goodness for Triple Zero yogurt. I still came in under my calorie goal.

Day 2: Booty (Tuesday)

This workout didn't suck. I didn't use the resistance bands and it still kicked my ass. It wasn't a pretty workout. For the most part, I could get through all the reps but by the second round, my hips were toast. It's not a super sweaty workout, which I liked, and there's a lot of work on the mat, which I loved. Still, my ass will be feeling it tomorrow. I guess that is the point. When I finished, I could feel the energy coursing through my muscles. I like that.

Day 3: Cardio something or other (Wednesday)

I seriously hated this workout. Hated. It. I literally cannot do even 2 minutes without agonizing pain in my legs. Yes, I know - I need to see a doctor. Food was decent enough today. I hope I have a chance to prep better for next week.

Day 4: AAA (Thursday)

By the time I woke up, I knew I was not going to finish this program so I didn't bother. I would much rather do real weight lifting. Nothing against this program - it's just not for me. And I hate working out to video. I just want to sling iron and crank my music. Food was okay.

Day 5: Legs (Friday)

Nope. Instead of doing 80DO, I made a spreasheet for the lifting I will start on Sunday. And researched Fitbits because my Polar strap is all jacked up. But if I'm not doing cardio, what's the point? If I ever go to the doctor and get whatever this issue is under control, I will Turbo again. God damn, I miss Turbo. Food was okay - I'm resentful of people who eat whatever they want.

Day 6: More cardio nonsense that I didn't  really do (Saturday)

I cleaned my house a bit after work, and spent a lot of time exercising on Pinterest. I tried Cardio Flow and it was a spectacular failure. I brought all my equipment out of my bedroom and back into my weight room where it belongs. Food was good. I still suck at planning and prep.



Sunday, June 3, 2018

80 Day Obsession - Day Zero

So...I am back for another lame attempt to get in shape. I have been having issues for about a year, with my legs hurting when I walk. I am 100% certain it is claudication from peripheral artery disease. I haven’t seen a doctor because I am in denial but I know my cholesterol is sky high, I am overweight, and a host of other things. My research says exercise and a better diet will help and I would like to make an attempt to get things under control on my own before giving in and seeing a doctor. Yes, I know, I should see a doctor. But I’m not going to. Yet.

Anyway, I have had Beachbody On Demand for over a year and I should probably use it. I really wanted to just start lifting again, and I put together a pretty kick ass program. Then came Get Obsessed With Today. Apparently the Today Show is doing 80 Day Obession, and the nation is joining in. I checked it out and it looks awful so I told myself I should probably do it. I have a few more friends who are going to do it, so I joined the stupid Facebook groups, took my before pictures and measurements, and got rid of the junk in the house.

I had the workout in place. I just needed to figure out what I was going to do with the nutrition part of things. I read through the nutrition materials for 80DO but I didn’t really want to do containers. It looked like too much brain power. So I figured I will go with macros and track everything in My Fitness Pal. The macro calculator gives me a generous 1524 calories per day: 114 g carbs, 114 g protein, 68 g fat. I think that is doable. I looked at foods I know I like and are fairly convenient and I think I can work with it. But...I have to give up my sanity, my precious coffee with lots of French vanilla creamer. There is just no way I can make it fit. I’ve tried alternatives to the creamer and it’s just not the same. So...no more giant cups of coffee to get me through my day. Instead, I will take one small travel mug of hot coffee with milk and a larger, cold brewed coffee with milk to work. Eventually, I would like to get off the coffee altogether, except for one or two cups on my days off.

When to work out was the next issue I had. I loved my sleep, and don’t really want to get up any earlier in the morning. Besides, I have a roommate and I don’t want to wake him up with my cursing and crying at the buttcrack of dawn. I worry about exercising in the evening because I am fucking tired and lazy when I get home from work. But there is no reason not to work out in the evenings. I get home at a decent time, have no commitments to worry about. So from 6:30 to 7:30 every evening is going to be my time. Well, not on Tuesdays. I work late on Tuesdays so I can do my workout before going into work while still getting up at my usual time. So I feel good about this schedule. I just need to follow through. And make sure I am prepping my foods and all that shit because I have to take lunch to work now. My coffee held me over all day but without that, I will need to eat.

I am desperately hoping this will get me back onto the path I was on back in 2011...best shape of my life. I am older now and I know it will be harder. I have to remind myself that it will take time, and forgive myself for not being perfect.

I found myself immediately falling into the old habit of being afraid to eat. I had lettuce and salsa for lunch, for fuck’s sake. I entered my planned dinner into MFP and decided it was too many carbs and too much fat, even though I still would have been under my goals for the day. So I had chicken with salsa and guacamole. I should have made some veggies but I think I have mentioned that I am a lazy fuck.

On the plus side, I did get my lunches prepped for the week. Now if I just “remember” to take them. I can’t stand the thought of food in the morning and even if it's ready, I don't want to take it with me.

Today's abysmal food intake:

coffee w/ (a little) creamer & Splenda
scrambled eggs w/ salsa & guacamole
salad w/ salsa & guacamole
chicken breast w/ salsa and guacamole

I obviously really like salsa and guacamole.

857 calories - 56 g carbs, 43 g fat, 61 g protein

I was going to make some oatmeal with protein powder and PB2 but have I mentioned that I'm lazy?