Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Pre-Marathon Training: Week 2


No run today. I was tired when I got up from my two hours of crappy sleep, and it was too hot and humid to run after work.

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • turkey sandwich

Rest day. Busy work day.

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • salami, cheese & pretzels
  • cheesy ranch chicken & pasta
  • salami, cheese & crackers

I sucked it up and did my scheduled mileage. I walked the whole thing. Not even a jog. I have to start doing this shit in the mornings.

Before heart rate: 85 bpm
Total distance: 1.27 miles
1 mile pace: 16:31
Total distance pace: 16:52
Minutes per mile: 16:42
Duration: 21:12
After heart rate: 125 bpm
Calories burned: 117

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • pasta salad
  • salad w/ chicken breast, cheese, salsa & sour cream

No weights today. Deja vu.

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • salad w/ chicken breast, cheese & ranch dressing
  • Swiss roll and Nutty bar - I resisted for an entire 24 hours

No walk today. 

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • salami
  • baby carrots w/ hummus
  • smoked sausage & cheese on potato roll w/ baked beans
  • Nutty bar - Damn it. I had a moment of weakness and immediately hated myself.

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • pork chop, plain ravioi, avocado & cheese - It was clean out the fridge and freezer night! I hate grocery shopping when there are tons of half-containers and left overs.
  • corn dog
  • cheesecake

Hahahaha. No walk today either. LOL :(

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • ham & turkey sandwiches
  • potato roll and cheese - don't ask!
  • spaghetti
Yes, I know my shit needs work. 

Monday, June 6, 2016

Pre-Marathon Training: Week 1


I went to bed last night with good intentions. I was going to get up at 6 AM and do my scheduled run before work. Nope. Woke up, had coffee, finished Season 10 of Friends and went about my day. I didn't want to run. I didn't want to do this bullshit at all. It was raining, I was tired. I was lazy.

But I fucking did it anyway. Granted, it was only a 1 mile walk and my calves hurt and my upper back wanted to run away. I did it, and I didn't die or even cry. So here are my lame stats:

Before heart rate: 97 bpm - it's not normally this high but I think the anxiety of it all jacked it up.
Total distance: 1.16 miles - I didn't start my app until I got to a certain point, but left it on until I got to the door of my apartment. I think I'm going to do it that way from now on. I have mileage routes planned out, but I'm going to track from the time I step out the door until the time I get back to that same point.
1 mile pace: 18:35 - I wish I could say it was leisurely but it wasn't :(
Total distance pace: 18:09 - I had to jog in a few spots to avoid traffic. I live in the city. Fortunately, the neighborhood behind my ghetto is lovely.
Minutes per mile: 18:31
Duration: 21:23
After heart rate: 122 bpm - Meh.
Calories burned: 106

Food is something I always struggle with. I didn't eat a whole lot last week. Here is what I had today:
  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer - If you know me at all, you know this is my kryptonite. I cannot and will not give this up, or even cut back on this 200 calorie deliciousness.
  • chocolate stuffed Twinkie - pre-workout carbs, you know
  • red pepper slices - See, I can have balance!
  • sausage biscuit with gravy - don't judge me!
  • ice cream - I said don't judge me!

I changed my schedule around a bit, due to my work hours. Tuesdays will be my rest days. Good thing, too, because all I had today was my coffee. Wait, I lied. I had some cottage cheese for dinner.


Today was another one-miler. I tried to pick up the pace a bit. I think I did okay. I even ran a bit. Probably just a quarter-mile. It felt good though. And by "good" I mean I can't wait for this to be over.

Before heart rate: 93 bpm
Total distance: 1.28 miles
1 mile pace: 15:16
Total distance pace: 16:41
Minutes per mile: 15:35
Duration: 19:57
After heart rate: 124 bpm
Calories burned: 127

Food for the day:
  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • pretzels
  • chicken ranchero wrap & Mean Bean Java Monster
  • baked potato - okay, it was French fries
  • donut - sigh, I had resisted these for days

Today was supposed to be upper body/core day. But I didn't have time, and probably won't have time on Saturday for it, either. so we will start that next week, okay? Cool.

Food for the day:
  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • giant salad w/ cheese, sour cream, taco meat (no chips or anything)


Now let me say something about this session. I knew it wasn't going to be any record breaker before I even got out of bed. It's my day off, so of course I'm up way earlier than normal. I just wanted my coffee and the Today Show. I knew I had a ton of stuff to get done today so I had to be efficient. I needed to go to the grocery store but didn't have my car (Brianna is in for an oil change) so I figured I would see how far it is to the store. Luckily for me, it was a mile. Why the slow pace? Because it was already hot as Laverne Cox outside and there was immediate moisture on my mustache when I stepped out the door. Because there is a whole gang of ducks that lives in the pond area behind my apartment complex, and I was sidestepping duck shit and actual ducks who seemed to think they owned the place.

Before heart rate: 85 bpm - I actually measured before I left my second floor apartment.
Total distance: 1.14 miles
1 mile pace: 17:12
Total distance pace: 17:59
Minutes per mile: 17:21
Duration: 19:50
After heart rate: 111 bpm (at first my phone sensor said 233 bpm - stupid app)
Calories burned: 102

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • bacon Whopper and fries
  • pork chops and roasted red potatoes

So no workout today and I barely ate anything (coffee, preztels & cheese). Work was insanely hectic and I had a ton of shit to do after. Once it was all done, I exercised my brain by reading a book.


Yeah, it was way too hot to even breathe outside today, so I read another book. 

  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • cheese stuffed meatballs
  • sweet & sour chicken with vegetable fried rice
Lessons learned this week: I hate running and need to work on my nutrition.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

More Pre-Marathon Nonsense

It's Day 2 and I've already decided to make changes. Instead of doing my long runs on Fridays, I'm going to move them to Sundays, move my Tuesday runs to Fridays (because they will get longer) and take rest days on Tuesdays. Or do yoga. It may not be the best strategy but for my schedule, it's the best fit.

I also wanted to talk a little bit about the upper body/core workout. I know you're supposed to work your legs a little bit ship cross training but I'm opting not to.

I've picked 9 exercises and broken them down into 3 supersets of 3 exercises - one core sandwiches between two upper body exercises. 2-3 sets of 10-15, progressively. And hopefully increase the weight periodically. Except for the YTWL. I can't imagine increasing beyond 3 pound dumbbells for those.

Superset 1

overhead dumbbell press


YTWL - I discovered this Nasty Bitch doing New Rules of Lifting For Women

Superset 2

push up

one arm dumbbell row

stability ball jackknife

Superset 3

barbell bench press

supine hip extension with leg curl

dumbbell skullcrusher

Good times, man. 

Monday, May 30, 2016

Pre-Marathon Training: Accountability, Yo!


I was driving down I64 through Newport News, just about to hit the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel when my friend Cat texts me and asks if I want to do the American Family Fitness Half Marathon with her in November in Richmond. I love Cat dearly and she has been bugging me to run a "bigger" race with her for a few years, since she ran her first OBX GO FAR Bunny Hop 5K. (Cat, you're welcome, by the way, since I'm the one who introduced you to that race. Had I known it would come back to bite me in the ample ass...) Not one to text and drive, I quickly replied, "Yes" because apparently that was quicker than texting, "What are you out of your mother fucking mind? Not just no, but HELL NO!!!!!" And the rest of the drive home, I'm thinking, "How can I get out of this???" Not unlike Fletcher Reede.

I figured an "owie" wouldn't work for me, so I did something incredibly stupid. When I got home, I registered for the damn half-marathon. Then went on to panic about a training schedule. I hadn't worked out in forever, much less run and I still haven't quit smoking. I researched a few training programs, and found a 24-week program that looked do-able that I didn't have to start yet. Then with about 6 weeks before I was to start, I started to panic again, thinking, "I need more time to train!" So I tacked on 4 weeks of pre-marathon training, which was basically just a repeat of the super novice half-marathon training I'd found.

Now, you will see that I sometimes say "marathon" instead of "half-marathon" and there is a perfectly good, logical explanation for this.

I sort of mostly committed to doing the Shamrock Marathon in Virginia Beach in March. I didn't pull the trigger and register because I have priorities and bills to pay and a lot of it will depend on how much I hate myself after the half. But it made sense. Running a marathon is on my bucket list. I'll be half-way there. Might as well get it out of the way. I sure as hell don't want to have to go through this training twice. I want March 19, 2017 (290 days from now) to be the last day I ever run.

So more panic. I had to find a training program that will sort of pick up where the half leaves off and still gives me time to "get there" before the full. I found the Hal Hidgon Novice Supreme training program, and with a few tweaks, it fit perfectly into my remaining time on this great Earth. I scrapped what I had planned out and made myself a fancy spread sheet. I also decided I needed to do some upper body work on the days I don't run, so I put together something to get in some core and upper body training. I'm quite pleased with it. I think. For the moment I am. 

My pre-marthon training started today. Yes, started. I already did my first training session, which you will read all about in my weekly blog post. I don't have time for that daily posting shit. Sundays are rest days. Sundays are blog days. 

A couple of things to bitch about, to get them out of the way. How difficult is it to find running shorts with a back fucking pocket? I need somewhere to put my phone. I have an arm band thingy but I hate it. I need to find them in-store so I can try them on. I'm okay for a few weeks because real training (running) doesn't start until June 26. 

Also, my ear buds. I can't even walk without the right bud falling out. They are just standard ear buds. They fall out if I breathe. I have Yurbuds, which do not fall out. Do you know you why? Because it takes a miniature shoe horn and a sledgehammer to get them in.

Then there is my iPod. It's a Classic. I have playlists for working out, and I like them to shuffle. But then I have to remember to turn the shuffle off when I'm listening to the Titanic and Back to Titanic soundtracks at work. Do you know why I listen to that at work? So I can pretend it's the music making me sad and not the job. Just kidding. I love my job. Do your damn FAFSAs, people!!!

Fortunately, I got some hand-me-down (twice) iPod Shuffles. Three lovely, clip on 3rd Gens that I have named Castiel, Dean, and Sam. 

No spoilers, please. I am only on Season 9.

Is it me, or do iPod Shuffles take forever and a fucking day to charge?? I can't tell if the light is yellow or green and they have been charging for hours!

And my final bitch for now - the money I'll have to spend on running gear, like shoes and clothing I like (I absolutely must have a superhero running skirt, I'm just not sure which one. Wonder Woman is the obvious choice but there are others. Okay, not really. I want a Wonder Woman running skirt). I'm not going to get all fancy with GPS watches that record your heart rate and distance, or any of that other high-tech shit like teleport you from the start line to the finish line. Hell, I don't even have my beloved Polar heart rate monitor anymore. It kills me that I have to rely on Mapmyrun and S Health on my phone for approximate numbers. I want to know how far I've gone to the millimeter, my average/high/low heart rates for the workout, and the calories burned to the micro-calorie. Are micro-calories even a thing? Didn't think so. Damn it.

That's also why I won't be logging my food. Well, I will be writing down what I eat but I'm not measuring it. For one, I threw away my food scale. For two, fuck that. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Turbo Jam 20 Minute Workout

I took it easy on this one. I didn't work out yesterday because I woke up feeling like total garbage again. I hate when I am sick as a dog, feel great and think I'm over it, just to have my body say "psych, bitch!"  So I did the cardio low impact.

Tomorrow NROL4W starts.


  • coffee w/ Splenda & French vanilla creamer
  • hummus & pretzels, cheese w/ salami
  • chicken fajita

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Feeling better but...

I needed one more day to recuperate. I have my workout ready for tomorrow. Going for a heavy 5x5, because I haven't had DOMS in years.

Friday, January 15, 2016

No workout today

I'm still sick. Or whatever this is. But I expect to be back to it tomorrow.