Sunday, September 21, 2014

Melty was right!

I am not surprised. I did a short test today. I did Turbo Jam 20 Minute Workout. It kicked my ass. My chest hurt (because cigarettes and allergy issues - don't worry, I am quitting) and my right quad ached. But I did feel better as soon as I put on my workout gear. There's something about that sports bra and sneakers...

Anyway, I worked out today. Tomorrow is more Turbo Jam. Jenga, baby!

I don't know what I'm doing, nutritionally speaking. I mean, I know what I'm doing but I don't know what, if any, plan I will follow. It's no secret that I hate measuring and tracking. And working around food blows. There's so much temptation. We'll see. I didn't eat anything today, until dinner. I drank coffee like a pro, though.

Change O' Plans

I'm sure you're shocked that I am changing my mind!!! I had my trusty virtual workout buddy look over my schedule for the next 20 weeks, and in her infinite wisdom, she said it looked like too much too soon and of course, she is right. The truth is, I wasn't quite comfortable with it either. So I'm going to take her advice and start slower.

Mondays - Cardio - Probably TJ Cardio Party Remix (30 min)
Tuesdays - Lift - goblet squats/db RDL, inverted row/db shoulder press, Swiss Ball/Bosu plank-roll up-push up
Wednesdays - Cardio - Cardio Party 2 or 3 (45-50 min)
Thursdays - Lift - same routine
Fridays - TJ 20 Min WO/CLX Recharge
Saturday & Sunday - Rest

I'm just not ready to commit to four months of workouts every single fucking day. Baby steps.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Le Sigh

Obviously, I haven't done jack shit this summer. Here it is, mid-September and I'm still as out of shape as ever. Lack of motivation continues to fuck me up.

My son is 10. He's 4'9" or 4'10", 130 pounds. He was up to 142 back in late July. His weight was measured on 2 different scales though - two different doctors offices - so I don't know what his true weight is. He's been overweight for a while. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it here before. I've pretty much stopped buying junk food, and his appetite has been affected by his ADHD meds. He's not very active though. He just returned to school and is making somewhat of an effort in PE, which is a big change from last year. He still hates PE, but he's trying.

So when he told me the other day that he wants to work out, I was surprised. I had been talking about getting back into it - aren't I always??? - and promised him I would put together something we can do. I wish he would learn to ride his bike, or be interested in roller skating again.

But anyway, I'm starting a new program Monday. I'm using the 20-week Turbo Fire calendar. I'm just doing the cardio, and adding my own lifting. I used The New Rules of Lifting: Supercharged to put together 4 workouts.

Workout A

bodyweight squat (3x15)
push up (3x15)
split squat (3x8-15)

SHELC (3x15)
dumbbell 2-point row (3x8-10)
step up (3x8-15)

reverse lunge w/ overhead shoulder press (3x8-10)
Swiss ball rollout (3x15)
box jump (3x15)

Workout B

goblet squat (3x8-10)
pike push up (3x15)
rack deadlift (3x8-10)

forward lunge (3x8-10)
dumbbell chest supported row (3x8-10)
dumbbell single leg Romanian deadlift (3x8-10)

Romanian deadlift w/ row (3x8-10)
Swiss ball jackknife (3x15)
dumbbell swing (3x15)

Workout C

back squat (3x8-10)
dumbbell shoulder press (3x8-10)
Romanian deadlift (3x8-10)

walking lunge (3x8-10)
inverted row (3x15)
dumbbell single leg deadlift (3x8-10)

squat & press (3x8-10)
Swiss ball mountain climber (3x15)
squat w/ jump tuck (3x15)

Workout D

front squat (3x8-10)
barbell bench press (3x8-10)
deadlift (3x8-10)

Bulgarian split squat (3x8-10)
suspended row (3x15)
single leg squat (3x8-10)

push up w/ 1-arm row (3x8-10)
Swiss ball plank (30+ seconds)
dumbbell snatch (3x8-10)

I'm calling this cluster fuck the Girl On Fire Challenge. Gotta get in shape to win those Hunger Games. Here is the complete schedule:

We will see how it goes. My guess? This will be my last post on the subject.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014


I'm here blogging for the third day in a row. Still no exercise.

coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
garlic cheese pizza w/ corn medley
Asian chicken salad

And oh yeah, before bed last night, I had a giant bowl of cereal and some Fig Newtons :(

Monday, June 2, 2014

Two Days In A Row

But not much going on. I did not work out today, because I've been completely exhausted and can't keep my eyes open. I'm taking some medication that has really messed up my sleep. So no exercise, unless you count the dead lifting of 5 year olds. Squat, lift, hug. That was my day.

coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
Philly cheesesteak, pinto beans, sweet potato & onions & peppers - I actually had this twice...once for lunch and once for a snack later. Soooooo good!!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Shady's Back!

Bah!! I am back. Again. Because I have to be. I'm tired of being a fatty fat fatterson. I won't bore you with my whereabouts for the last I don't even know how long. You can probably guess I've been sitting on my ass eating crap. I haven't exercised (except for one Zumba session, which I loved - I am just so out of shape) in ages and I can't remember the last time I had a healthy meal.

I don't have a plan in place. I want to lift, Turbo, skate, bike and learn to dance. I'm all about the dancing these days.

This has been all the rage on Facebook and I freaking love it. It's not necessarily dancing but it's kind of hot and a good workout. It's much, much harder than it looks. Even not squatting very deep, my thighs were on fire. And I'm all kinds of uncoordinated because I haven't done Turbo in so long. I know it's only three and a half minutes, but it whooped me. My heart was pounding. I loved it!

coffee w/ creamer & Splenda
donut - shut up
cottage cheese

Monday, January 20, 2014

Ok, so I lied.

I did have some junk food after I blogged last night. Just a little, and it was good.


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
Bagel Thin w/ cream cheese
chicken wrap & fries from McDonald's - And I didn't even eat all of it.


Does running up and down the stairs count? Yes? Awesome. I did stairs today.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I really don't like P90X3

I had a feeling I wouldn't like it. It's really not my style at all. I just want to lift and do Turbo Jam/Turbo Kick. And box jumps. And burpees. And jump rope. And run. And skate.


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
omelet w/ peppers, onions, salami & cheese, turkey bacon & toast

I'm really proud of myself that I didn't go on a chocolate binge, even though I desperately wanted to.

No workout today. I'm trying to decide whether I want to lift or Turbo tomorrow.

Friday, January 17, 2014

P90X3 - Day 6 - Incinerator & Dynamix

I had a Bagel Thin with cream cheese after I blogged last night. And yes, I felt guilty.

Double workouts today (and all Fridays) because I don't have time to work out on Saturdays right now. Fortunately, it was an early dismissal day so I had time to do the workouts without feeling rushed.


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
cheese burger & bean soup - Ugh, the freaking guilt!
Cali burger w/ fries - I went out for dinner with some co-workers. I never want to eat again.


Incinerator is a resistance workout. I used bands. I hate using bands but I hate the cold garage even more. I have to play around with where to anchor the bands to get the right resistance and that's a pain in the butt. Dynamix was tedious but the stretches helped a bit.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

P90X3 - Day 5 - Pilates X

I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but I'm having food issues. Mainly guilt for not eating lettuce and chicken breast. I ate at work, stuff that's not healthy. I don't know why I can't get it into my head that it's okay to eat. Part of my issue is anxiety over life stuff. I'm having lots and lots of issues in my personal and work life that have my stomach in a constant knot. I either want to binge eat or not eat. I can't find a happy medium at all.


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
egg, sausage, mini pancakes & cheesy potatoes
honey barbecue beef patty


Pilates X...where do I start with this? I hate pilates. I hate core work. Probably because my core is weak. This workout gave me a massive headache. I'm sure it's because I'm not relaxing my neck or whatever. You know how your head hurts when you do sit ups sometimes? I need to work on that. I couldn't do half the moves properly. Fuck this shit. Give me a barbell or some Turbo Jam, please.

Erm, no, I'm not quitting P90X3. I'll be back tomorrow for The Incinerator and Dynamix (I have to double up on Fridays because I can't workout on Saturdays).

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

P90X3 - Day 4 - The Challenge

My legs huuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt! I hate Tony Horton.


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
chicken breast w/ bean soup, broccoli & coleslaw
apple & cottage cheese


The Challenge is a push/pull workout - all pull/chin ups and push ups. 8 rounds of however many you want to do. The idea is to pick a goal for each. I did pull downs with my bands because I was too lazy to go down to the garage and freeze my ass off doing assisted pull/chin ups. My pull goal was 30 and my push goal was 15. My chest and shoulders will hurt in the morning.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

P90X3 - Day 3 - X3 Yoga

My buttocks hurts today, from all the squats and lunges yesterday. And I'm cranky because a) some kid stole the piece of candy my niece left for me and b) I forgot to take a snack to work. But at least I did not have a Pop Tart (or any other junk at work).


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
Carolina barbecue, coleslaw & baked potato
Bagel Thin w/ cream cheese


X3 Yoga today. I needed some yoga but damn, the leg work. Some of the stretches felt great. Especially child's pose. I love that one. And corpse pose, of course!

Monday, January 13, 2014

P90X3 - Day 2 - Agility X

Two days in a row??? Whaaaaaaat???

Let me just say, I was NOT looking forward to working out today. My intention was to do it before work, but screw that. I like to sleep and drink coffee. I felt a little guilty, and even thought this was the end of the road for P90X3. Now, I'm not going to go patting myself on the back just yet. It's only been two days. I have 89 more to go before I feel like I'm back to my old workout fiend self.

Oh, and before I forget, I did not have that bagel with cream cheese last night. Yay me. I was feeling proud, and planned on having a salad for lunch. Nope. But don't worry. I was a good girl. I ate food, but appropriate portions and nothing too shit-tastic.


coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
Carolina barbecue (no bun), baked beans, coleslaw & sweet potato
"fun size" candy bar - My niece brings me one of these every day. She's a sweet heart.
apple & cottage cheese

Yes, I realize it's not that much food on paper. Lunch really filled me up. The anxiety over having to work out when I get home kills my appetite. All the water I drink during my workout kills my appetite. So the apple & cottage cheese after was pretty much all I could handle.


Agility X sucks. Not because it's a bad workout, but because I'm fat and lazy. It's a mix of plyometrics, squats and lunges, with a few push ups thrown in. This is one workout that just does not work out well in my second-floor bedroom. I guess I'll be doing it in the garage from now on. I need room to jump, and a stable floor that doesn't knock all my shit off the shelves.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

P90X3 - Day 1 - Total Synergistics

Oh hey, guess who is back!! My workout buddy talked me into starting P90X3 with her today. Bitch.

My goal, between P90X3 and T25 after, is to get back where I was three-ish years ago. 30 pounds lighter, a little more muscle definition. Food, of course, is my downfall. I make terrible choices and I work with food. It's really freaking difficult. Half the time I want to stuff my face, and then shoot myself in it.

So what to do about tracking food? I hate weighing and measuring and logging. I won't be doing that. Oh, hell no. I'll try my best to make good choices, not stuff myself, and write it all down.

coffee w/ Splenda & creamer
omelet w/ cheese, onions & peppers, turkey bacon & toast
donut - Shut up. I forgot I was supposed to start the program today.
chicken breast w/ marinara sauce
Bagel Thin w/ cream cheese - Maybe, if I get hungry after I post this mess.


Total Synergistics isn't bad. I used a resistance band because it's cold in my garage and not really comfortable for floor work. So, I worked out in my bedroom. Using a resistance band as a substitute for pull ups and chin ups sucks balls. When my garage warms up, I'll go back to doing assisted pulls and chins. Dude, remember when I could do multiple unassisted pull ups? When I did P90X, back in the fall of...shit 2008? 2009? I could do that shit!

Anyway, it's very obvious I'm out of practice and my core is weak. My boats sucked. My warriors and half moons sucked. The only things that didn't really suck were the plows and the chairs. And I can crescent like a mother fucker! Note to self: wear shoes next time. And a bra.