Well, today just sucked. I started off with a good weigh in (131.5, down 6.5 from two weeks ago). Then I messed up by eating some donuts. It wasn't so bad, except that I ate 22 points worth of donuts. I had plenty of points to finish off the week. I sent a text to my workout buddy and told her that I ate it, so I'd be accountable for it. I felt guilty, even though I knew I would have been fine on points.
It bothered me all damn day that I ate those donuts. I bought them yesterday to share at the mud bog, and I didn't have one at all. I didn't have one because I knew, if I ate one, I'd likely spiral out of control. So I was really good yesterday. And by eating them this morning, I felt weak-willed. That made me angry at myself. I ate a good lunch, and I was still good on points. But those donuts still pissed me off. So, I did say "screw it" and went out for dinner at a buffet, where I ate well over my points. And I'd had a lot of points stored up.
I'm so mad at myself for letting this happen. I knew I couldn't stop at one donut this morning. I knew I should have thrown them out last night, not even brought them home. I've been on this journey for over three years now, and aware of my messed up eating patterns for two years. How many times do I have to say, "Well, tomorrow is another day." I'm sick of screwing up. All I wanted was 63 days of good eating. And I blow it two weeks in.
Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.
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