ChaLean Extreme - Week 4 - Wednesday

I have to take some time to decide whether I'm happy or bummed about something. I was folding laundry today and noticed that my pants are getting kind of worn. I've had them for a long time, because they are comfortable and they stretch. The one pair of jeans I wear has an elastic band and it's getting too baggy to wear. I can't believe I just admitted I wear jeans with elastic but there you go. I can't wear them much longer because they are just looking ridiculous. I wear large t-shirts to cover up a lot of things. I like large t-shirts and will probably continue to wear them. I used to wear XL but they really are tents on me now, so I don't miss those. So yeah, I'm happy my clothes are getting too big for my current body. Current body still has a long way to go, especially in the gut. I have lost weight in my hips and my butt looks pretty good for a hefty chick. But the stomach area is depressing. And I know that will be the last area to fall into place. I'm not worried about it - there's still plenty of weight to lose to get rid of it. Regardless, it bothers me. My workout pants are actually loose around the waist and hips and they would fall off if I didn't have all that belly fat. So I will be very, very happy when that's gone. I've had a c-section, but I'm not going to let that get to me. I've seen lucky people with c-sections get great abs without surgery. Maybe I can get lucky.

But that's not what I'm bummed about. I pulled out my old jeans. I'm talking OLD, probably from the mid to late 1990s, jeans. I believe people call them Mom Jeans now. I have several pairs - 1 size 16 slim, 2 size 12 petites, 1 7/8 button fly, an 11 something, and then some newer jeans I bought when I lost weight in 2003. The size 12s "fit" - that means I can button them, and they look pretty damn good as long as I'm wearing a big shirt. The pair of 7/8 button fly fits better than the 12s. Nothing else fits. I either can't button them or my thighs are too big. And I have good legs. They may be short, but they have curves and are strong. But my point is, all these different brand of jeans in different sizes, and the fit is CRAZY hit and miss! How the hell am I supposed to know what size I am if the brands vary so much.

Maybe the problem is that the pants are old. I can't bear to part with them, though. They are perfectly good jeans. Just not in style. So, do I keep them and wear them, and probably not buy anything new and fashionable, or do I ditch them and spend crazy money that I don't want to spend on something that won't looks stupid? I don't want to by new clothes until I am "done" losing weight. I only have 30 more pounds to go, 20 if my husband has any say (which he does - I know it's my body, but he likes what he likes. Plus, when I start putting on muscle, I'll weigh more, but look smaller, so really, we both win). It all comes down to that belly fat. I can't make any jeans look good right now and I'm not selling my kid to buy a pair that would give me hope. Maybe when I'm "done" I will splurge and buy that look-at-how-freaking-hot-my-body-is pair of jeans, but not now.

Burn Circuit 2 today - 1 set of 12 (or at least 10) to failure of the following:

sumo squat w/ bicep curl [15 lb dumbbell]
lunge w/ one arm triceps extension [10 lb dumbbell]
deadlift w/ row [50 lb EZ Curl Bar]
sumo squat w/ overhead triceps extension [15 lb dumbbell]
deadlift w/ reverse grip row [50 lb EZ Curl Bar]
bowler's lunge w/ one arm row [15 lb dumbbell]
bicep curl w/ abductor balance (+1 set of 3 curls, super slow)[15 lb dumbbells]
forward lean lunge w/ double row (+1 set of 3 rows, super slow)[10 lb dumbbells] - I really wanted to go up to 15 lbs but my arms were dead ass tired from the curls
triple thread push up (+1 set of 3, super slow) - all on my knees, my arms are wrecked when these come at the end

I hit the road again this morning. 3 miles in 46:40. I would have done another mile but I had to pee, I was out of water, and I was way too hot with a hoodie and a jacket. I didn't want to stop to take off the coat and pee in my water bottle so I'd have more to drink. I'm kidding. Well, about drinking pee.

6:45 AM - cottage cheese

9:20 AM - Banana  Nut Cheerios w/ 2% milk, banana

9:45 AM - coffee w/ half-and-half & Splenda

1:05 PM - turkey bacon, toast w/ butter, scrambled eggs w/ onion, green pepper & salsa

5:25 PM - London broil, spaghetti squash & broccoli w/ butter

8:30 PM - grilled cheese sandwich

Calories - 1512
Carbs - 137 (2 fiber)
Protein - 123
Fat - 58
C/P/F Ratio - 35.1/31.6/33.3