Monday, February 16, 2009

ChaLean Extreme - Week 3 - Monday

I screwed up. I don't know what happened, I think I wasn't focusing, and I jerked my right arm duing a posterior fly. There was a horrible grinding in my neck/shoulder area and I know that, in a few hours, I am going to ache like crazy. That area has been bothersome ever since I did it, so I think it will only get worse throughout the day and night. Not happy LOL

Today I did Burn Circuit 1. It consists of 1 set of 12 (or at least 10) to failure of the following:

sumo squat w/ hip lift [45 lb EZ Curl Bar]
lunge w/ posterior fly [7.5 lb dumbbells]
push up w/ leg lift - 6 on toes, 6 on knees
deadlift w/ posterior fly [7.5 lb dumbbells]
lunge w/ core rotation [20 lb dumbbell]
bench press w/ leg lower [45 lb EZ Curl Bar]
squat w/ side bend (+1 set of 3 squats, super slow) [25 lb dumbbells]
forward lean lunge w/ double arm posterior fly (+1 set of 3 flys, super slow) [7.5 lb dumbbells] - this is the one that messed me up because I don't think I was ready to go from 5 to 7.5 pounds
chest fly w/ hip lift (+1 set of 3 push ups, super slow) [15 lb dumbbells] - all the pushups were on my knees because I was freaked out by the fly incident

I have a confession. Last night, after I posted my blog, I ate one of my son's chocolate covered pretzels. They are small, and that one bite was delicious. And I desperately wanted to scarf down the rest of the bag. I wanted to say "Screw it! I'm struggling anyway so I might as well enjoy myself, at least." I was mad that I couldn't handle them, and my son was getting on my nerves, frustrating me even more. I wanted the chocolate so desperately. Then I remembered how physically crappy and guilty I would feel if I did that. So I didn't. And I am disgusted with that because I hate having these issues. I hate that if I eat something, I worry about what it will do to me. I freaking hate this.

Tami asked a good question in my last Spark blog. I was talking about cutting things from my diet and she asked what there was to cut. My eating has gotten a lot better, but I think I have a lot of room for improvement. I still eat some processed foods. And of course, there's the Splenda. I know that's not good for me and I am probably consuming too much. At Blogger, Hayley suggested adding fruit and more vegetables. More fibrous vegetables is definitely a good idea. Corn and carrots aren't really the greatest choice, and I tend to eat those often. And then there are the times I eat something whole wheat (my double fiber bread, pasta, or even the pumpkin muffins I make), I feel guilty for eating those. I shouldn't feel that way, but I always think "man, I could have made a better choice." So while all this is going on, I'm trying not to become that chicken breast, egg white, and nothing-but-vegetables eater. I know I couldn't do that and I'd be going nuts. It might last 2 weeks before I binge, in that scenario. So right now I'm just struggling to find the right balance and I don't think I'm quite there yet. There are some days when I feel so accomplished, then there are days like yesterday that remind me that I'm vulnerable. I think I need to focus on making smarter, healthier choices and substitutions, rather than "cutting" things from my diet. I think that sort of implies that I'm looking to eat less, and that is definitely not the case. I'd love to eat more, actually, and improve the quality of the foods I eat.

7:55 AM - apple & cottage cheese

9:45 AM - Cheerios w/ skim milk, coffee w/ half-and-half & Splenda

2:00 PM - turkey bacon, scrambled eggs w/ onion, green pepper, garlic & salsa

7:30 PM - beef, pasta & mixed vegetables (corn, broccoli & cauliflower) w/ sour cream; it's amazing how mixed vegetables and half a serving of whole wheat pasta can add substance to just a little meat

Calories - 1343
Carbs - 135 (18 fiber)
Protein - 102
Fat - 38
C/P/F Ratio - 41.8/31.6/26.6

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