Today I did the NROL Fat Loss IA program, which supersets pairs of exercises, with 75 second rest periods:
[superset w/ full rest]:
squat 3x15x32
bent over bb row (supposed to be seated cable rows but I don't have the equipment - I also had to play with the weights to find a good weight)
1x15x24
1x15x29
1x15x34
[superset w/ full rest]:
supine hip extension 3x15xbw
db push press 3x15x10 (the videos make these look so easy - they aren't!!)
[superset w/ full rest]:
rotational lunge 3x15xbw (that's per leg)
swiss ball crunch 3x15x10
I need to be honest and say I was terrified to start this program. I'd heard horror stories of how people feel really sick when they first start it. I'll admit, I didn't feel wonderful, and I definitely felt like I worked my butt off but it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. It was hard, for sure! I can already feel my arms getting sore. I am definitely dreading my next NROL session though - the exercises listed are scary!! But I'm probably just psyching myself out.
I also need to be honest about some of my lower calorie days. I think I've had 2 in the last week or so and both times, I've enjoyed the feeling of not eating when I was hungry. Since I'd already posted by blog each day, I didn't want to have to make edits or deal with accounting for anything the next day, so I just didn't eat. And it was empowering. I loved the empty feeling in my stomach. I felt thin and in control.
And this is not a good thing. I need to be very, very careful that this doesn't become a regular occurrence or I'll risk developing a different eating disorder to go along with the binge eating. Unfortunately, I am tempted to skip dinner tonight. I could very easily find a few things to distract myself. Now, why can't I just as easily distract myself when I want to binge?
This is ridiculous! I lifted weights today, so in my theoretical world of calorie and carb cycling, I should be eating higher carbs and calories today, but here I am, barely over 1000 calories for the day, trying my hardest not to eat. This is some messed up stuff I've got going on in my head. I recognize this pattern. It usually happens about 2 months into on-plan eating. I'd wager I'll have a binge within a week if I don't get myself under control.
I'm starting to get cranky and tired, since I took my melatonin on an empty stomach. I have to put my son to bed soon, and I might fall asleep in his bed, as tired as I am. I can't decide whether to post this blog or wait to see if I eat anything. What the hell is wrong with me?
Ok, screw it - I am going to bed.
6:45 AM - apple & cottage cheese with cinnamon & Splenda; eaten on couch before workout; as expected, I was starving because I skipped dinner last night; fortunately, this was enough to satisfy me until well after my workout
10:40 AM - sweet potato muffin, homemade protein shake (protein powder, skim milk, coffee); I had absolutely no appetite after I worked out so I pushed my breakfast by an hour; I ate/drank slowly on the couch; it was great and very filling
11:00 AM - coffee w/ cream & Splenda
1:45 PM - chicken breast, avocado & broccoli w/ light balsamic vinegar; eaten on couch; I was still hungry after eating but decided not to go digging around for more food
Calories - 1088
Carbs - 103 (14 fiber)
Protein - 99
Fat - 35
C/P/F Ratio - 36.6/35.1/28.2
7 comments:
I definitely agree with you about skimping on calories. I DO think you have the bingeing under control - going a month or longer without a binge is a big deal. On the other hand, as someone who has dealt with anorexia, PLEASE don't go in that direction!!! I attribute a lot of my bingeing to anorexia...the constant cycle of restricting/bingeing/restricting - I KNOW that empowering feeling very well. I felt very much in control, but in reality you are just controlling your food because there are other areas of your life that you can't conrol.
In addition, you will start to wreak some serious havoc on your metabolism. Your body is going to recognize that it isn't getting enough fuel and will start to slow down to survive. THen when you DO eat it's going to hold onto that food like there's no tomorrow because it doesn't know when it's going to get to eat again. PLEASE don't starve yourself...some of what you say worries me. I know I don't technically know you, but in a way I feel like I do!! I definitely care...
You're absolutely right, Hayley, and I appreciate the concern! This isn't something I do often, and I really AM aware of how dangerous it can be. I'm trying my best today to just eat normally. I made some brown rice salad and it's completely addicting, like the muffins. I'm definitely eating today!
Brown rice salad..yummm!!! What all do you put in it? Besides the brown rice I mea.. :)
I'm really glad you are aware of your thoughts - I know you know what to do (I think we all do!) but sometimes it's hard. Who am i kidding? It's hard A LOT!! I am still in total awe of you though and I think you are a very strong person. I aspire to go as many days as you have without bingeing! That is my goal..
Brown rice salad..yummm!!! What all do you put in it? Besides the brown rice I mea.. :)
I'm really glad you are aware of your thoughts - I know you know what to do (I think we all do!) but sometimes it's hard. Who am i kidding? It's hard A LOT!! I am still in total awe of you though and I think you are a very strong person. I aspire to go as many days as you have without bingeing! That is my goal..
I used 16 ounces of cooked brown rice, 8 slices of turkey bacon, 2 tbs rice vinegar, 2.5 oz chopped onion, and 2 cups of peas. It makes about 8 servings.
Eh, the bacon and onion are cooked too LOL And the peas just blanched. Or straight out of the can. I use frozen vegetables so I had to warm them first.
YUMM!!!! Who knew brown rice could be so flavorful!! :)
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