I hate weigh in days. 153.5, which is down 2 pounds from last week (which was actually up 2 pounds from the week before). So, no net loss in the last 2 weeks. Frustrating, to say the least. I'm big on the instant gratification and don't do well with things that require patience. It's tempting to really cut my calories but I have to keep reminding myself that these things take time. I know the body is a funny thing and the weight will come off eventually, but there's still that part of me that wants to be thin RIGHT THIS MINUTE!
And of course, tonight is the big dinner at the seafood buffet with my father-in-law. I want to just enjoy myself and stuff my face. It's been over a month since I've had a binge. I can overindulge a little tonight, can't I? That's the stupid part of me talking. The rational, wants-to-be-healthy party of me says, "NO! Just eat small portions of foods that are fairly decent and skip the desserts." Then yet another part of me tells me that I have to learn how to deal with those forbidden foods in moderation. I don't think I'm ready for moderation yet. I know I'm not ready for it! But still, the lure of fudge and ice cream and cookies makes me angry. Heck, even seeing a block of pepper jack cheese in the refrigerator makes me mad! I can't just break off a chunk and eat it. Cheese is something I physically cannot eat a lot of anyway. But still, I try to limit it to one ounce, on occasion.
8:45 AM - coffee w/ cream & Splenda
10:35 AM - coffee w/ cream & Splenda, Cheerios w/ skim milk; eaten at desk; I actually made pumpkin pancakes to begin with, but took one bite and didn't like them.
2:00 PM - baby carrots, walnuts; eaten at the movie theater; I went to the movies all by myself and finally saw The Dark Knight. It was a wonderful 3 hours to myself with good-for-me foods.
5:45 PM - sea food buffet; I won't list everything I ate but I am quite full; none of the food was stellar quality but I didn't overeat on any one thing; I had a salad and two plates of seafood - the plates weren't even full; I did sneak a bite of fudge while I was getting my son's dessert - I felt guilty and did not go get more dessert when I finished my meal; I did consider getting some ice cream or cheesecake, but since I would only allow myself one or the other and couldn't decide, I got nothing
These numbers are for everything except the buffet. I won't even try to guess the numbers for my dinner.
Calories - 759
Carbs - 61 (11 fiber)
Protein - 17
Fat - 54
C/P/F Ratio - 30.7/8.7/60.6