Bulk Cycle 1 - Week 4 - Saturday

I was going to continue my weekend with my head buried deep in the sand. But when I woke up this morning, my wedding rings were really tight. So I hopped on the scale. I've gained 11.5 pounds in the last month. That is more than my goal for the entire 12-week bulk. I was horrible this week, and I've really been avoiding putting the details out there. Thursday for breakfast, for example, I ate a package of Zingers and a bag of peanut butter cups. For lunch, I ate another bag of peanut butter cups. I think I ate a decent dinner, but then ate tons of shit after that. Wednesday, I ate a bunch of junk after dinner too. Oh, and Thursday I bought ice cream. Between Thursday and Friday, I ate almost half gallon of ice cream. I had pizza for lunch yesterday and a Chinese buffet for dinner.

Not only have I ballooned up, my skin is horrible. Having rosacea, I'm very sensitive to sugar and yesterday one of my kindergarten kids asked me why my face was so red and bumpy, why I had "boo-boos" all over my face. It was hard not to cry a bit. I knew why skin was all jacked up but to hear this sweet little girl ask my why I had boo-boos all over, it was embarrassing.

After I got on the scale this morning and saw the 139.5, I pulled my rings off, and it took some effort. There is a very clear dent in my finger from them. My fingers are always more swollen in the morning and as the day went on, I could remove them easily, but the swelling was very apparent.

Now, you'd think that would be enough to shock me into action. I started off the day wonderfully, then after dinner, I managed to eat over a quart of ice cream in the living room with my son and husband right there, and neither of them knew I was eating it. That's pretty pathetic. I was sneaking food right under their noses. Between that and eating Nutella right out of the jar with a spoon, it's still very clear that I have problems.