New Rules of Lifting for Abs - Week 1 - Thursday

I had a banana after I blogged last night. I was so hungry.

I did Turbo Jam Fat Blaster today and my net burn was 119 calories. Fucking seriously? Why do I bother with cardio for a deficit when I will just need to starve myself to get it anyway? Ugh, 1 activity point.

Food:
coffee w/ skim milk [2]
cheese omelet w/ Bagel Thin [8]
apple & cottage cheese [5]
carrot sticks & banana [0]
roast w/ risotto [10]
salad w/ homemade dressing [5]

I used all of my daily points and have 37 weekly and 8 activity points remaining. And again, I only got 20 ounces of water. I just cannot gag it down. I know all the tips for drinking water and I just...yuck. I hate water, even after 4 years of forcing myself to drink it.

I did have a moment where I really hated myself today. My husband made mozzarella sticks (2000 calories worth - he ate about 3/4 of them). I wanted some, but I knew if I had some, it would set me off. Then I figured I could go ahead and have 4, with some marinara and it wouldn't be too bad. I put them on my plate, and immediately dumped them back onto the pan. I knew, I KNEW that I would lose control if I ate them. Instead of being proud of myself for making a good choice, I despised myself for my inability to control myself and enjoy things in moderation. And once again, I'm resentful that I can't eat things I really enjoy. I had a salad instead. It sucked.