Yesterday, I went grocery shopping. I struggled looking at my coffee addition choices. A small bottle of sugar free Torani French vanilla syrup was about $4 and it would last me three days, tops. I may just have to suck it up with my coffee creamer, maybe try to cut back a little each week. I don't even know how much I'm consuming, to be honest. I don't usually measure it out. I did the other day, just to see, and half a cup in my 30 oz coffee mug was ok. But I usually have another quarter cup in my smaller mug. Yes, I have two mugs that I take to work. I drink a lot of coffee at work. I drink much less when I am home.
I also bought a food scale and damn it, I will use it. Instead of buying convenience meals, like frozen lasagna and bags of one pot dinner entrees, I bought real meat. I have chicken and pork chops and ground beef. I would love to do ground turkey but I would have a mutiny on my hands. I didn't buy the usual snack foods for my son, either. I did buy him crappy yogurt with M&Ms and stuff though. Baby steps for everyone.
Since I skipped yesterday because I hurt so much, the short and sweet Turbo Jam 20 Minute Workout was supposed to be my warm up for lifting. I like it because it's short and has no super fancy moves. I used to do so much Turbo Jam that my body just did the moves without any thought. I could do some of the routines without the video. Muscle memory is a thing. I no longer have a heart rate monitor when I do cardio, I will have to rely on MyFitnessPal's estimate. Good enough, I guess.
Anyway, I didn't Turbo because I spent most of my morning on the phone trying to get my son into the doctor so he can get a referral for an orthopedic surgeon. I wasn't expecting to have an appointment within two hours of calling. So I decided it was more important to lift than do both because I knew if I took a shower, took my son to his appointment and came home, there would be no getting me back in my workout clothes. And it's a good thing I worked out beforehand because we didn't get home until late and I was much too stressed to work out by the time I got home.
NROL Break In B, Workout 1:
deadlift (conventional) - 2x15x45 lbs
step up (12" step) - 2x15xbodyweight
dumbbell one-arm shoulder press - 2x15x10 lbs
lying dumbbell row - 2x15x10 lbs - I didn't feel like setting up my homemade lat pull down contraption, so I subbed
reverse crunch - 2x15
Food was hard today. I had my coffee in the morning - not as much as usual. Then I took my son to the doctor and by the end of that appointment, I thought I was going to pass out. We went to Wal-Mart next to the doctor and I grabbed some hard boiled eggs. It was a 6-pack and I have no shame in admitting I ate three when I got home and the other three when we got home from the second appointment. Instead of getting him fast food, he picked out a BBQ chicken wrap and loved it. He said he could eat chicken wraps and salad with chicken everyday. Good kid, because we are going to be eating a lot of chicken. His weight is something I have to get under control. He called himself a cow when the doctor asked him to get on the scale. The number shocked me. I know he is heavy but I was really, truly shocked. I am not going to post it here. I'm just going to cry about it to myself and try to convince myself that I'm not a shit parent. We had a good talk, though, about making healthier choices. I won't be bringing home any more crap for him to eat. Occasional treats, yes, but no more pizza for lunch everyday. Jesus Christ, I suck at this parenting thing.
Anyway, I spent the day alternating between starving and wanting to eat everything and sight, and being too stressed to eat. I feel the fear of food creeping back into me. I did log my food yesterday (well except for two grapes) and I only hit 955 calories, and my goal is 1500. I even wanted to get more carrots before bed but didn't because I didn't want to log them. Fucking vegetables. I was afraid to eat vegetables because of the effort it would take to log them in the app. I can see if it was cheesecake or something (which we did have, which I told my roommate not to bring home but it was god damn baby carrots. For dinner, I made chicken breasts cooked in the Instant Pot with some Italian dressing, threw it in a huge bowl of spring mix with spinach and peppers. I added a little more Italian dressing and threw on some chow mein noodles and roasted sesame seeds for crunch. I think today's numbers looked much better:
Carbs - 73 g (17 over my goal, thanks to coffee creamer)
Fiber - 6 g (nowhere near my goal of 25 g)
Fat - 62 g (pretty close to my goal of 75 g)
Protein - 105 g (close to my 150 g goal, but I think I need to adjust that)
Total Calories - 1261 - That's good.
I'm aiming for 15% carbs, 45% fat, 40% protein. For today, my macro percentages were 23/44/33. Gotta work on that protein.
Update: I also had popcorn and a small slice of cheesecake after blogging. I didn't add it to MFP :(