Tomorrow, I have to get serious about training. The half marathon is 12 weeks from today. This is the training plan I'm using. Tomorrow is cross-training. Tuesday is my first short run.
I'm still in a really messed up mental place. I have no motivation to work out or eat right. I'm coming up on two years of fuckery. I have to get my shit together. I know how to not eat crap. I really do. I know the tricks for not giving in to cravings. I know my hunger is not physical. I know, I know, I know. Look at my blog. I've been doing this a long fucking time. I know what I'm doing wrong, and I know what the right things to do are. But getting my mind and body to cooperate is just not happening. And I know I have a million and one excuses for this or that. I know I suck.
But I'm still here. I have not given up. I will never, ever give up this fight. Eventually, I'll get it back together. I would like this to be my year. I just can't find a way of eating that I'm happy with. I've done low carb, Weight Watchers, calorie counting with SparkPeople and MyFitnessPal, cut this, cut that. I've tried it all. Paleo/Primal would be perfect for me, but it still cuts out stuff I don't want to give up. And I suck at moderation.
But I have no choice now. I have to do something. High protein, low carb worked really well for me. Maybe I'll give that another shot.