Friday, December 7, 2012

Determined in December - Day 7

Today was a rough day, mentally. I'm not sure I really want to get into it.

I lifted:

squat - 3x5x105 lbs - I was having trouble with my left knee so my squats weren't all that deep, just barely hitting parallel.
assisted chin up - 3x5 - I'm really making progress with these. I'm quite pleased.
dumbbell shoulder press - 3x5x25 lbs - I don't like using my adjustables for these. The are too bulky. Maybe I'll try my other dumbbells.
Romanian dead lift - 3x5x100 lbs - I increased the weight from last time. It felt good.

After this, I did Turbo Jam Cardio Party 3 for 50 minutes and burned 508 calories. I fucking love this workout.

coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
mozzarella cheese

I think it's pretty apparent what my issue is. I am afraid to eat. I hit a new low today. I took a bite of sausage, then spit it out because I didn't want the calories. I know this is all fucked up. I know I need to eat to fuel my body properly. I know it all. But when I'm irrational like this, I can't get over it. And I know what comes next - a binge. I wanted to have the macaroni and cheese at school today but I knew if I ate it, I would binge. So I didn't eat anything until after school ended, then I had some mozzarella cheese. Then I played dodge ball with my third graders for about 45 minutes. Then I came home and worked out. I am heading for a big bucket of disaster, as my friend calls an inevitable clusterfuck. Yep, that's coming.

Oh, there, I got into it. Well, not much because there really isn't much to say. I know what I'm doing is dangerous. Hold on and I'll try to find a fuck to give.

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