Done with December - Day 31

I was going to start my no added sugar, no wheat challenge today but I wanted to treat my son to one last splurge. We went to Dunkin Donuts this morning and used a gift card that one of my sweet third graders gave me for Christmas. And I needed to go grocery shopping. There's no junk in my house...no pasta, no bread, no cereals. That's because I ate it all. I did throw some of it away, stuff that was way beyond expiration. I didn't bother buying more coffee, since I can't have any in January due to the whole no added sugar/artificial sweetener thing. Yay for water.

Last week, my copy of New Rules of Lifting: Supercharged arrived. If you have been following my blog for a while, you know how much I love me some NROL. Lou Schuler knows his stuff and Alwyn Cosgrove is an evil son of a bitch who puts together brilliantly brutal workouts. I reviewed the book over the weekend. It's delightfully complicated. Well, not complicated if you've been following NROL for a while. Lou outlines Alwyn's exercises and method, then you pick your own moves to do in each stage. I'm not going to outline everything - the book is detailed and I have a headache. As always, I highly recommend all of the NROL books.

I wish I could find my tape measure and calipers for tomorrow morning. I have been looking for them ever since I moved in to my apartment. I know I packed them and brought them with me.

Dumbass in December - Days 28-30

I've purged the house of most junk foods but I'm still gorging on wheat, something I will be avoiding (along with added sugars/artificial sweeteners) in January. My son asked for some banana bread. I made it, and he ate maybe two slices. We have eaten all the crap food (and pretty much everything) in our freezer/refrigerator and I am going grocery shopping so I can kick off the new year (which begins Monday for me) with nothing but good stuff in stock. I also will be back to exercising. I have a half marathon to train for Turbo Kick certification to prepare for. Suck it, fat!

Half Marathon Playlist - HELP NEEDED

I'm working on my playlist for the Flying Pirate in April. The race has a four-hour time limit, so I want about 4 1/2 hours worth of music, maybe 5. I like rock, and I don't really keep up with current radio. I would like some suggestions for what to include. Specific songs would be most helpful, any genre.

I'll keep updating this post as I add to my playlist.

Battle of One - 30 Seconds to Mars
Closer to the Edge - 30 Seconds to Mars
The Fantasy - 30 Seconds to Mars
She - Green Day
Twisted Transistor - Korn
Astro Zombies - My Chemical Romance
Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance
Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance
My Way Home Is Through You - My Chemical Romance
Heaven Help Us - My Chemical Romance
Desolation Row - My Chemical Romance
Planetary (GO!) - My Chemical Romance
Too Bad - Nickelback
Yesterday - Staind
Thnks Fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
I Like It - Enrique Iglesias
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + the Machine
We Found Love - Rihanna
DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again - Usher

Disgusted in December - Day 26

I threw away the cookies yesterday so there was minimal junk food in the house. Just some Doritos and I made banana bread. And I cooked a decent dinner. But I didn't exercise like I wanted to. I looked longingly at my weights, but that's about it.

Disgusted in December - Day 25

I have eaten nothing but junk for days. Ugh. Yuck. I need to start exercising. This is ridiculous.

Desperate in December - Days 21 - 24

I am still alive! Just stuffing my face and being lazy. I have to make cookies today for Santa. This week is eat everything in the freezer and start over week. There really isn't any junk food in the house. Nothing particularly healthy, either. I can't wait to go grocery shopping, once the stuff is cleared out.

Desperate in December - Day 20

Still desperate. I ate like crap today. I suck. Again.

Desperate in December - Day 19

Haha, now I'm desperate. Food sucks and I'm lazy.

Determined in December - Day 18

Bad food day. I suck.

Determined in December - Day 17

Food was only okay today and I didn't work out. Meh.

Determined in December - Day 15 & 16

Saturday was a crappy food day. I ate a lot of carbs. And I had a diet pop. Sunday was better. No exercise, but I've been watching all my Turbo Kick rounds. I am 99% certain I am going for my instructor certification on April 6. I'm so fucking excited, I could pee myself!

Determined in December - Day 14

Bad food day. I'm restless. It sucks.

Determined in December - Day 13

Still no workout, but I'm itching to do something. I'm still recuperating from the chaos of the early part of the week. Maybe tomorrow night I'll get some activity in.

Food was meh. I didn't eat all that much. Drank a lot of water though!

Determined in December - Day 12

Today was a crappy, stressful day. Food wasn't the greatest (though I am still soda-free for the month) and I am not exercising. There's something up with my ankle. I could probably work through it, but it feels like the bones are getting caught on each other. I've been so busy with work and such that by the time I get home, I'm ready to collapse. I'm not sleeping well so I'm exhausted. And I'm just stressed in general. It will get better soon.

Determined in December - Day 11

My appetite is sort of back. I ate too many carbs today and no exercise but I am swamped with shit to do.

Determined in December - Day 10

No workout today. I didn't sleep much last night and I was exhausted. I also wasn't all that hungry. I had my coffee in the morning, some fries at work, and two pieces of pizza for dinner.

Determined in December - Day 8 & 9

Today was not a good day. I took a much needed break from exercise, but I also didn't eat anything for most of the day. I have no appetite at all. I don't care. I just don't fucking care. My friend, who hasn't seen me in two weeks, commented on my weight loss. I don't know how much I've lost - not much, really. It shouldn't be noticeable.

Anyway, by the end of the evening, I pulled myself together enough to eat some decent food. I also bought a candy bar, which tasted like ass, and I regretted eating it. I then went to Wendy's and just had a small fry and a chicken wrap. I think I'm going to be okay.

I didn't log all of my food in MyFitnessPal today. But tomorrow, I am 100% sure I'll be back to normal, without a binge.

Determined in December - Day 7

Today was a rough day, mentally. I'm not sure I really want to get into it.

I lifted:

squat - 3x5x105 lbs - I was having trouble with my left knee so my squats weren't all that deep, just barely hitting parallel.
assisted chin up - 3x5 - I'm really making progress with these. I'm quite pleased.
dumbbell shoulder press - 3x5x25 lbs - I don't like using my adjustables for these. The are too bulky. Maybe I'll try my other dumbbells.
Romanian dead lift - 3x5x100 lbs - I increased the weight from last time. It felt good.

After this, I did Turbo Jam Cardio Party 3 for 50 minutes and burned 508 calories. I fucking love this workout.

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
mozzarella cheese
apple

I think it's pretty apparent what my issue is. I am afraid to eat. I hit a new low today. I took a bite of sausage, then spit it out because I didn't want the calories. I know this is all fucked up. I know I need to eat to fuel my body properly. I know it all. But when I'm irrational like this, I can't get over it. And I know what comes next - a binge. I wanted to have the macaroni and cheese at school today but I knew if I ate it, I would binge. So I didn't eat anything until after school ended, then I had some mozzarella cheese. Then I played dodge ball with my third graders for about 45 minutes. Then I came home and worked out. I am heading for a big bucket of disaster, as my friend calls an inevitable clusterfuck. Yep, that's coming.

Oh, there, I got into it. Well, not much because there really isn't much to say. I know what I'm doing is dangerous. Hold on and I'll try to find a fuck to give.

Determined in December - Day 6

Another good day! I did the Rockin' Body Party Express for 25 minutes and burned 227 calories. I'm so torn between Turbo Jam and Rockin' Body. You know I love, love, love my Turbo. On the other hand, I really want to get my groove on. I still look like a total moron rockin' it with Shaun T but I'm having fun. I think, tomorrow night, I will try the next workout on the disc. I think it's close to 45 minutes.

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
turkey salad w/ fat free french dressing, broccoli
apples
meatloaf
oatmeal w/ banana & peanut butter

Determined in December - Day 5

Today was either going to be nothing, or Turbo Jam 20 Minute workout. I burned 179 calories. I actually wanted to do Cardio Party 3, but I didn't have the energy for that.

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
baked chicken breast w/ whole grain roll, peas & corn
apple
Carolina barbecue pork w/ broccoli

Determined in December - Day 4

Today was my lifting circuit:

squat - 3x5x105 lbs
assisted chin up - 3x5
dumbbell shoulder press - 3x5x25 lbs - up a smidge from last time
dead lift - 3x5x85 - next time I will increase my weight

and Turbo Jam 20 Minute Workout. I burned 195 calories. I forgot how much fun this simple workout is.

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
Oriental chicken salad w/ fat free honey mustard dressing
Oatmeal w/ peanut butter & banana, sausage link

I'm still having major guilt over eating food. I know I have to eat and I know eating less does not equal more/better weight loss. I know all of this. I've been doing this for five years. I know, I know, I know. But it still doesn't change the fact that I have food issues. I also have no interest in therapy or anything like that. I just have to be in the right frame of mind, and only I can get myself there.

Determined in December - Day 3

Still not desperate! Today was a crappy day though. I was very, very preoccupied, so I had no appetite. I wasn't going to work out because I had no energy but I went ahead and did Rockin' Body Party Express again. I did keep it fairly low-energy though. I burned 239 calories. I really enjoy this workout. I get a good sweat!

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
tater tots
oatmeal w/ peanut butter & banana - I made it with chocolate soy milk instead of water. Yum!

Determined in December - Day 2

For a brief moment, I couldn't remember what I was calling this group of posts. I thought it was Desperate in December, and that pretty much sums it up. I am desperate to get my body back, to be in control of my food intake again. Desperate to achieve the fitness level I once had, than improve. Determined, desperate...whatever. It depends on my mood. Today I'm determined. Tomorrow, I may be desperate.

Today's workout was Party Express from Shaun T's Rockin' Body. It was a 25 minute workout that was tons of fun. I'm a really shitty dancer but I'm getting more comfortable just moving my body. I am determined to be a decent dancer. Anyway, I burned 264 calories. And had fun.

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
turkey and cheese sandwich - I was at a birthday party for my niece and I had to eat something. I did not have any cake.
salad w/ venison & beans
oatmeal w/ banana & peanut butter
hamburger on flour tortilla

I feel like I ate a ton today. And I feel very, very guilty.

Determined in December - Day 1

Haha, here I go again with another "thing" to try to keep me motivated. I suck. I can't stick with anything anymore.

I lifted today, then did a short cardio workout - Mark, Move & Groove (or something like that) from Shaun T's Rockin' Body. I've done this workout a few times. It's short - only 15 minutes - and fairly easy. I think I'm ready to move on to the next workout on the disc.

Lifting was a circuit:

squat - 3x5x105 lbs
assisted chin up 3x5
dumbbell shoulder press - 3x5x20 lbs
Romanian dead lift - 3x5x85 lbs - I'm still working on form. I love these but my shins area all fucked up from the bar. I need to start lifting in pants

I am going to add push ups next week, I think. Maybe some Turkish get ups and burpees, too. Fucking burpees. I hate burpees.

Or, I might go through all my Turbo Kick Fan Volumes. I have 25 workouts to test out. I don't know. I'm tired of not knowing. And I don't think it matters what I do, as long as I do something.  My son asked me today if I was ever going to do P90X again. No. As good as that program was for me, I can't do it - or any P90X version again. I could Turbo all my life though! I'm looking (again) at getting certified. I really want to teach kids and older people. I wish I could get my son to Turbo with me. Or at least do Tae Bo.

Food:
coffee w/ half & half and Splenda
egg, cheese & pepperoni burrito
apple
oatmeal w/ peanut butter & banana